Lies My (Jedi) Teacher Told Me Part 3: The Truth About the First Skywalker

Previously, I went over what appear to be Star Wars discrepancies, but are actually lies that Obi-Wan Kenobi told so that Luke Skywalker would kill his own father as well as a deliberate pattern of omitting references to Qui-Gon Jinn to avoid the embarrassing admission that the Jedi of the past had acted against their own principles. In this final installment, we turn to the lies about Anakin Skywalker's transformation from a Jedi Knight to a Sith Lord.

Lies My (Jedi) Teacher Told Me Part 2: Choosing Not to Look at Qui-Gon Jinn

In part 1 of this series, I covered Star Wars discrepancies that were the result of Obi-Wan Kenobi lying so as to get Luke Skywalker off-planet and start his Jedi training.

In the second of this three-part series, it is time to learn about Obi-Wan's deceptions regarding his own past that are definitely not simply the result of the filmmakers making continuity mistakes.

Lies My (Jedi) Teacher Told Me Part 1: The Process of Hero Making

We would all do well to remember when Return of the Jedi showed Obi-Wan Kenobi to be a brazen liar. The moment comes when the Force ghost of Obi-Wan Kenobi—who is supposed to be a good guy—sits down on a fell tree in the swamps of Dagobah to rationalize his fabrication about the fate of Luke Skywalker’s father. While Obi-Wan had said that Darth Vader killed Anakin Skywalker, it turns out that Darth Vader is Anakin Skywalker. But, Obi-Wan says, he was actually telling the truth because, from his perspective, Anakin Skywalker's turn to the Dark Side of the Force was the same as becoming a different person. He even lamely tries to boost this attempt at weaseling his lie into the truth by tacking on a vague aphorism about "point of view" as if this were some sort of lesson in wisdom:

What could be a saving move on the part of Obi-Wan Kenobi becomes a non-starter for the rest of the film. There is no moment with Luke Skywalker realizing for himself that perspective alters truth. There is no point where Luke—much less anyone— sees that alternative facts lead to different conclusions that reflect one's ideological assumptions. Rather, in Star Wars, it is when truth has been compromised that this sort of point-of-view shift comes about. What we are left with, then, is Obi-Wan Kenobi using this vague aphorism as an excuse to get himself out of having to own up to his lie.

Some might argue that this apparent dishonesty is a byproduct of the films' creators lacking any grand vision for the series, leading to continuity mistakes and discrepancies in the Star Wars movies from changing things haphazardly. But, as I will demonstrate, the better explanation is that the Jedi have a firm habit of misleading with lies and half-truths.

Welcome to the first of my three-part series on Jedi lies and the lying Jedi who tell them.

Cobalt Eyes and Dark Skin - The Real Faces of Dune

As a fan of Frank Herbert’s Dune (1965), I have a love-hate relationship with the visual-media representation of the characters and styling of David Lynch’s (1984) and the Scifi Channel’s (2000, 2003) representation. On the one hand, it’s exciting to see a book come alive and to share thought-provoking content with my not-so-literate friends. On the other hand, when movies get your favorite characters wrong, your blood boils so bad that you need medical treatment from the Scary German Guy in Monster Squad (1987).

How do you say "I love your face sores" in German?

With the revelation of an unmade Dune project directed by Alejandro Jodorowsky (2013), a growing number of visual-media services capable of providing engaging multi-season adaptations of popular book series (I’m looking at you, Game of Thrones), original content from streaming services not bound by demands of conventional television (see Netflix et al.), and the willingness of the eldest of Herbert’s sons to soak money out of the Dune Franchise, it’s only a matter of time before another attempt at adapting the Dune series will engage (and disappoint) long-time Dune fans.

With that in mind, I would like to focus on a few characters who I feel didn’t get an accurate representation in the 1984 movie, the 2000 miniseries, or the 2003 Children of Dune miniseries. In addition to notable representations in video games and Jodorowsky’s failed project, I will also be sharing interesting art I've found via trolling through DeviantArt, giving credit along the way to artists I think have more accurately captured the characters in the book.

The Language of Riddley Walker (part 2)

In my last post, I talked about the portrayal of dialect in Riddley Walker and how author Russell Hoban clearly established the rules of the narrator's speech. Today, I am going to focus on what the grammatical rules of "Riddleyspeak" are. This is more than an academic exercise, as it relates to how people think about language and the ways people relate linguistic difference to culture and cognition.

The Language of Riddley Walker

Today, I'm going to talk to you about Riddley Walker by Russell Hoban, a post-apocalyptic novel that takes place over 2,000 years in the future. More specifically, I'll be focusing on the language of this novel and using it to talk about the creative use of language, with some tips you can use in your own writing.

The Language of Cat's Cradle

I recently finished Kurt Vonnegut's Cat's Cradle, a novel about religion, science, and global annihilation.  A fun read for the whole family, which will not be spoiled in any way by my post today because I am going to talk about the fictional language haphazardly presented throughout the book.  You see, the narrator of Cat’s Cradle has converted to a religion (Bokononism) that originated from the fictional Caribbean island of San Larenzo and sprinkles the narrative with terms coined from its founder, Bokonon.  These seem at first like nonce words (foma, karass, granfalloon) but it is implied that they come from the creole language spoken on San Lorenzo.  Today, I’ll be sharing the process by which I figured out some of these words and how you can help.

Would Mouse make a 6-fingered cat?

Magic Kingdom in the Sky by Da Vinci's Notebook

All my life I have been searching for that fabled promised land
With my sisters and my brothers we shall walk there hand-in-hand
Through the trials and tribulations and the devils cruel temptations
I know that we'll all get there one day

After years and years of wandering, oh that kingdom we shall find
And the doors might not be open but we'll gather in the line
And our hearts will swell with pride the day those gates swing open wide
And we take a walk down Main Street USA

Oh, that Magic Kingdom in the sky
We will all be there together by and by
We will all drink from the fountain and go riding on Space Mountain
When we reach that Magic Kingdom in the sky

Where Mother Minnie, Father Dopey and Saint Tinkerbell abide
There'll be no more cares or sorrows on that heavenly teacup ride
I will lay down all my fears when I put on those big black ears
And join the choir to sing in harmony

We will sing the songs of aimless souls who once had gone astray
Who were lost but now are found in the Electric Light Parade
Singing Hakuna Matata, growing mouseketeers stigmata
In the only club that's made for you and me

Oh, that Magic Kingdom in the sky
We will all be there together by and by
All God's children shall be free in Pirates of the Caribbean
When we reach that Magic Kingdom in the sky

Oh, the meekest and the poorest their inheritance shall see
And a zillion Japanese tourists all will join the jamboree
They will ride that holy monorail into sweet providence
When they know that their redeemer is a mouse in short red pants (nice pants)

Won't you take me to Orlando where the sun is shining bright
All the angels are clean shaven and the people snowy white
Where your problems all are hidden and unhappiness forbidden
You'll find salvation for a modest fee
Climb into my Winnebago and if you help with the gas
Then we maybe can finagle you a five or six day pass
May your afterlife be blessed, just American Express it
Let MasterCard and VISA set you free

Oh, that Magic Kingdom in the sky
We will all be there together by and by
All religions may be practiced there except for Southern Baptist
When we reach that Magic Kingdom in the sky

Oh, that Magic Kingdom in the sky
Manufactured by that awesome Walter guy (he is my Walter guy)
We'll give thanks to that old geezer and we'll keep him in the freezer
When we reach that Magic Kingdom in the sky

This is relevant to the discussions about the link between Disney and religious experiences. I've heard Disneyland compared to Mecca, which is part of the reason why Saudi Arabia wants to retransliterate مكة المكرمة as Makkah.

There aren't enough Monomyths to go around

So I just finished two books. Joseph Campbell’s the Hero With a Thousand Faces and the Myth of the American Superhero by John Shelton Lawrence and Robert Jewett (leave a comment or two in their blog, they're looking a little lonely over there). The former book has been much better circulated and even has several Wikipedia articles devoted to it while the latter, being published in 2002, has not made as much of an impact yet. I had to special-order the book, and it was $27.
So, as a service to you, I’m going to share a summary as well as my criticism of the book.